I'm a keen gambler so I know quite a bit about playing the odds. Unfortunately you can store what I know about the childbirth process on a back of a stamp.
These two factors have conspired to make this a bad day, when it should have been a great one. You see we've had the initial scan that shows there's actually a baby there, which is great.
Then they sit us down and tell us that because of the missus' age the risk of it having Downs is potentially 1 in 190 or worse. Jesus.
I was aware that these risks got higher the older the mother is, but I always assumed that we were talking about one in two thousand rather than, say, one in a million if mum is in her early 20s.
How wrong I clearly was. An optimist might say that it still represents about a 99.5% chance things will be OK, but look at it another way - if I was in a room of 190 people and we all had a raffle ticket, I would wait around for first prize to be drawn coz I'd think I had a puncher's chance at those odds.
And I'm sorry for any pro-lifers reading this...I am barely going to be man enough to cope with fatherhood if everything is tickety-boo, I'm certainly not going to be able to cope with a Downs child.
So now we're on tenterhooks until some more definitive tests can be done next week. If we're lucky our risk factor will move up the scale into the 'safer' categories of 1 in 340 or higher (still not great, but beginning to be comforting odds).
If we're not, it could go the other way, then we have to think about nasty invasive testing that is definitive but opens up a small but significant risk of miscarriage. What a position to find yourself in, having to make that judgement call....
This is a very bad day...with luck it will prove to be the worst day and things will be OK. I'm not ready to contemplate worse days ahead right now...
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The seven ages of me...
I'm not sure who first said that kids keep you young, but so far the complete reverse seems to be happening to me.
Since finding out about my impending parenthood I've felt the crushing onset of middle age - many would say not a day too soon....
Luckily it's not the accompanying decrepitude - I'm slimmer, fitter and healthier than I've been all my adult life.
No, it's more of a cultural and psychological shift. Over the past 20 years I've basically been doing the same things as I did when I was 18 years old. Pubs, gigs, movies, football etc etc. It's easy to see why women often complain about their men not growing up!
Now, though, I've felt a real change come over me. I've become utterly disinterested in the "indie" guitar music that sustained me through literally hundreds of gigs over the years. I'd so much rather listen to Frank Sinatra than the Arctic Monkeys.
I find I'm preferring to stay at home rather than go out, eat nice home-cooked meals (some even cooked by myself!) and watch a DVD rather than stand in a smoky pub with a pint of over-priced lager - Jesus, what's come over me?
Still, I guess it's great preparation for when I have to do all this through necessity rather than by choice. Maybe I have finally grown up after all.
Since finding out about my impending parenthood I've felt the crushing onset of middle age - many would say not a day too soon....
Luckily it's not the accompanying decrepitude - I'm slimmer, fitter and healthier than I've been all my adult life.
No, it's more of a cultural and psychological shift. Over the past 20 years I've basically been doing the same things as I did when I was 18 years old. Pubs, gigs, movies, football etc etc. It's easy to see why women often complain about their men not growing up!
Now, though, I've felt a real change come over me. I've become utterly disinterested in the "indie" guitar music that sustained me through literally hundreds of gigs over the years. I'd so much rather listen to Frank Sinatra than the Arctic Monkeys.
I find I'm preferring to stay at home rather than go out, eat nice home-cooked meals (some even cooked by myself!) and watch a DVD rather than stand in a smoky pub with a pint of over-priced lager - Jesus, what's come over me?
Still, I guess it's great preparation for when I have to do all this through necessity rather than by choice. Maybe I have finally grown up after all.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
"Bear!" he boomed....
Another first, and more good match practice, with my inaugural reading of a bedtime story. My nephew was the recipient and it seemed to go quite well...I even did some different voices for the dialogue.
Mind you, it was the evergreen Paddington Bear, a personal favourite anyway.
I'm now trying really hard to look upon children not as alien creatures that should be avoided at all costs, but as people to be understood and communicated with. Not easy after all these years, but going surprisingly well so far I reckon.
My parents were naturally delighted about the news - it was good just to tell somebody else after all the subterfuge and secrecy. Although I thought my dad's "Oh, I'd better hang on a bit longer then if I've got a grandchild coming" was a bit unnecessarily pessimistic, even for him. No prizes for guessing where I get it from...
It'll soon be time for the moment of truth, the three-month scan. It's sure to be a tense time, because there are of course no guarantees given our age.
But for now, the good ship parenthood is set fair for a good wind and a smooth sea. All aboard!!
Mind you, it was the evergreen Paddington Bear, a personal favourite anyway.
I'm now trying really hard to look upon children not as alien creatures that should be avoided at all costs, but as people to be understood and communicated with. Not easy after all these years, but going surprisingly well so far I reckon.
My parents were naturally delighted about the news - it was good just to tell somebody else after all the subterfuge and secrecy. Although I thought my dad's "Oh, I'd better hang on a bit longer then if I've got a grandchild coming" was a bit unnecessarily pessimistic, even for him. No prizes for guessing where I get it from...
It'll soon be time for the moment of truth, the three-month scan. It's sure to be a tense time, because there are of course no guarantees given our age.
But for now, the good ship parenthood is set fair for a good wind and a smooth sea. All aboard!!
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