Like finding out you've won the pools....

...when you hadn't realised you'd filled the coupon in.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when the missus brought back the pregnancy tester with the telltale pink lines there for all to see. Must be a mistake, I thought, how accurate are those things?

A quick look at the instructions revealed "can sometimes say you aren't when you are, but NEVER that you are when you aren't". Oh well, I guess that clears that one up then...

I should explain. I've never wanted to have kids, not ever, not for a second in all my years. The missus knew that when we married and she felt the same. As the years rolled by she came round to the idea, but I didn't. It was indeed a source of much strife before an accommodation (well, actually me getting my way entirely) was reached.

We didn't exactly take care between the sheets, but we weren't that careless either. We basically weren't "trying for a baby" - a phrase that still makes me want to look skywards and furrow my brow.

Friends our age who really wanted kids had either been forced to basically give up after repeated failures or resorted to crazy measures to conceive. And I'm talking about temeprature testing to find the optimal moment of ovulation and all that shit. Jesus, imagine as a bloke having to perform under those "one hit" conditions - like Edward Fox in bloody Day of the Jackal.

But not us, oh no! No messing about, bop bop bop! Even when we didn't want to....

So there you go. The next entry will be about dealing with the shock and consternation. I intend this blog to be an honest, warts and all record of what promises to be an extraordinary year. Happy reading!